Before I do so, I would like to take a moment just to connect with the breath. I draw my attention to the center of the chest, noticing its gentle raise and fall. I remind myself to write from the heart.
Too often I let my story get carried away into the miasma of cognition. I write a line, and I turn it over a thousand different ways. I get lost in this electrical storm of neurons, as I chase each spark down its axon, through each dendrite, and across the synapse to connect with the next. I explore each branch, looking for just the right thought — just the right turn of phrase. More often than not, I find myself right back where I started.
My story is a journey through a practiced path from getting out of my head and into my heart. Sometimes I find myself navigating down this path with purposeful effort, and other times I meander with ease and playfulness. Sometimes it is intentional, and other times it is a happy accident. Fortunately, I have had many teachers along the way to point me in the right direction. Again, sometimes these were sought out, and other times they arrived on my doorstep in the most unexpected ways.
My teachers have previously traveled this well-worn path on their own, and they have experience guiding others along the way. Like a footpath through the forrest, the trail of previous travelers is well-recognized and self-evident. I only hope that I can guide those behind me with the same sure-footedness.
I have many teachers from the stars in the skies to the slugs on the ground. I have learned in school buildings and libraries, ships and airplanes, museums and theaters, cathedrals and graveyards, oceans and forests. I have learned from mentors, neighbors, and strangers. While the world acts as my teacher, I am a world within myself. I too learn from myself, acting as a teacher to myself. I study my thoughts, words, actions, habits, character, and destiny.
A primary way that I learn about myself is through the practice of writing. It helps me to slow down my thoughts, creating a logbook of memories and dreams, so I can study and shape my story. Writing is the practice of story-telling. Writing gives me the opportunity to tell my story the way that I want to. I get to empower those parts of my life that seem important and eliminate the waste.
Another way that I practice self-study is through yoga. It is a codified system that brings darkness into light. This ancient wisdom has been distilled into practiced poetry. Yoga is more than just sitting comfortably. It brings awareness to the breath and turns the senses inward. It cultivates a heart of compassion, truthfulness, balance, loving-kindness, and generosity. Through committed action and self acceptance, the consciousness is transformed to pure awareness.
My patients are my ultimate teachers. As a physician, I sit across from a version of myself everyday. I study the science of the human body, and I try to restore homeostasis to a person. Whether that be through pills or patience, I watch other humans transition through different developmental stages in life and transform through its challenges. I see a bit of myself in each person. When I treat a person who is depressed, I have to face my own sadness and isolation. When I examine someone with a fever, I am reminded that I too have been sick. It takes practice to develop empathy without being consumed by it. It is a constant battle of letting go of attachments and facing the suffering that most people wish to avoid.
Writer Body and Soul 